I became a mother at a very young age, so I was a college student when my daughter was born. By the time my daughter became ready for preschool, I had considered studying and working hand in hand. My daughter went to the same school where I worked, so essentially, I got to see her growing. Sometimes she would sneak up in my office entryway amid her can break, and I would tell her to go to her course. I never hugged her or took advantage of being in the same place; I thought it wouldn't be the right thing to do professionally. Now seeing her grow, I regret million times not doing so; a single embrace wouldn't have fetched much, though!!
It was convenient or fair enough if I say full partnership in raising our girl from my husband. He never mentioned or made me feel my job was less important than his whenever it came about taking care of our girl, though he earned many, many times more than I did. He has always and always been there for me throughout every thick and thins, whether it was dropping me to work or going for a solo tour with our daughter while I was working or studying. Occasionally his friends and cousins would tease him, saying, "He doesn't have time as he's so busy raising two girls."
Definitely, things weren't as easy as described in words, but I regret little of it! Having said that, sometimes I ponder, was it always okay to leave a sick baby behind at home while myself being at the office? Or maybe because my baby always bid me with a smile, and I would find it as a motivation. Though the brighter side is the school was the next home for us, and it was because of the lovely people and caring teachers. In a way, the school took care of my child, Miss Anju: the principal ma'am made sure I was a happy parent. There were times when she would take care of things without my knowledge; I might never have shown gratitude, but it's engraved deep in my heart.
The most challenging times were when my Lil one had to be hospitalized (as all children do; fever, cold, and cough issues). It would be heart-wrenching to leave a sick child at home and be at work after clearing an entire night on the child's ward. But my family would invariably be there at home, allowing me to pursue my career with somebody else having the escape. This is just one instance. There have been hundreds like these, but nothing stopped me from going on my job or studying. Not because I cared less for my Lil one, but because of the supportive hands I had at home.
She's 10 plus now, and I have completed my education ( Basic; let's say, as learning is infinite), and I work as usual. But I'm glad we never missed a time when we could be together; if it was a holiday, we would always take her places to visit or spend a moment in the bookstore, library, children's park. My husband and I acted clear. We filled her childhood with splendid memories and created frequent travels; we always wanted to give her unique experiences by exploring different opportunities.
Despite choosing to become a working mom, I somehow managed not to miss her childhood. During off days, I made sure that it would always be about her, playing with her, taking her to the children's park, going for her favorite blueberry smoothie or her favorite blueberry cheesecake. Of course, my brothers accompanied me to each of those. With time the places changed like we started going for short hikes, her football session, swimming sessions, basketball, guitar and piano lessons, karkhana, grooming tales, chatterbox, which was her choice. While I studied, we did it together to make sure we had quality time. I always read her a chapter of the storybook before leaving whenever I had to work while she had an off day. As a result, with time, she loved reading too! We would go for dry picnics or simply write a story, visit the parlor for a hairstyle, and cook her favorite food during weekends. I took Bebo to new places for vacations, which would be all about her again, accompanied either by my brothers or Shraddha. This has helped me develop a strong bond and rapport with my child.
Trust me, it was good to hear from your Lil one; it meant a lot to me. It was possible because of the shared Responsibility at home. I am glad she has these lovely memories; the things I mentioned above are those she reminisces a lot! And she never complains that I'm a busy working mom; instead offers a helping hand. And to add sparks recently, she complimented that I balance my work and home life so well, which, according to her, was my strength.
Words aren't enough to thank my daughter's Nanny Pramila didi (6 months to 10 yr old), who literally took care of my baby while I was away at work, my mamu and mother-in-law for always being there leaving everything behind for her during her month's vacation, my brothers for rushing up in the middle of the night or early mornings over a call, Gaurab for choosing to babysit and dropping me to work canceling his dates (as shared by his then-girlfriend now wife), don't kill me for this Kanchi Maiya :D and nanu for staying up the whole night holding her in arms so that I could sleep well and many more instances when they stayed back for her while I was preparing either for my studies or meetings. There was a time when I wanted to give up my studies (you can imagine how overwhelming can motherhood be), but my husband hired a home tutor for me instead.
So this journey of a young mom in her early twenties became possible as a working and learning mom because of these beautiful people. When I look back, these people made my life more convenient, and I shall be lifelong indebted to them.
Always remember your family members might lend a helping hand, but your child is your primary Responsibility!! I had this thing engraved in my mind from the beginning, and gladly my husband and I are on the same pace.
